Misconstrued.
- Chanel: well if it makes you feel any better im pretty sure i have about 1-2 inches on him
- Brandon: i'm thinking about sex... and you're talkin about length
- Chanel: HEIGHT.
- Brandon: chanel, please dont tell me you have a huge penis
Miles to the gallon
- Chanel: could it? unless you're planning to pull a tiger woods, I'm afraid it wont!
- Brandon: i cant understand that
- Brandon: she's so hott
- Brandon: why downgrade to midsize when you're riding luxury?
- Chanel: maybe he wanted to get more miles to the gallon
- Brandon: he learnt the hard way that the ride is never quite as smooth
Buying the cow
- brandon says: (10:15:29 PM)
- you need to see 'Buying the Cow' with me
- brandon says: (10:15:39 PM)
- one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while
- brandon says: (10:16:11 PM)
- the premise of the film; "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"
- brandon says: (10:16:37 PM)
- if you and I had a special film, it would be this one
“ I love using you for your beauty.
— Brandon Ruiz, on photographing me today.
What happens when you move to the country
- Brandon: oh come on
- Brandon: you're like a sister to me
- Brandon: unfortunately, I've spent too much time around hillbillies
- Brandon: ...so you're fair game
Of the "great" outdoors, hiking and pilots
- Brandon: you need to do the outdoor thing
- Chanel: yeah, no
- Brandon: just work into it slowly
- Brandon: honestly
- Brandon: the ride killed me
- Brandon: but it was downright gorgeous out there
- Chanel: yeah, I know - athletic people always use that line
- Chanel: "the view is worth it!"
- Chanel: I've been hiking up fricken mountains to see said "gorgeous view" - and problem is, by the time I get there im so tired/frustrated/cranky I'm like, that's nice, lets go home so I can make sure the internet hasn't crashed in my absence
- Chanel: plus I'm scared of everything - rocks, trees, cougars, fish, water, bugs, anything that flies, anything that crawls, air...
- Chanel: the outdoors and me do not mix
- Brandon: how cute
- Chanel: its not cute, its sad
- Chanel: but my job is to get rich enough to buy my own plane and pilot
- Chanel: and get them to fly me up to the top of that damn mountain
- Chanel: so I can step off, take pictures, enjoy everything and then make it back to the city for lunch with friends
- Brandon: haha
- Brandon: you'd buy [redacted]
- Chanel: lets not go there
- Chanel: any pilot will do
- Chanel: preferably one who wont kill me
- Brandon: that rules me out then
- Brandon: I always kill my passengers
On me thinking like a man:
- Brandon: you're a woman inside too
- Brandon: a strange woman
- Brandon: very weird
- Brandon: but still a woman
Plan B: Run.
- brandon says: (2:08:00 AM)
- ah heck
- brandon says: (2:08:06 AM)
- i'm not going to worry about it
- brandon says: (2:08:10 AM)
- we'll see what happens
- Chanel says: (2:08:14 AM)
- exactly
- brandon says: (2:08:23 AM)
- i'm good at damage control
- brandon says: (2:08:34 AM)
- that, and moving to new states
There is nothing civilized about love.
- Brandon: tarzan lost jane to his wimpy half brother
- Brandon: pissed me off
- Brandon: he tried to be civilized and it cost him the love of his life
- Brandon: there's a lesson to be learned
- Brandon: moral of the story: There's nothing civilized about love
On the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants:
- Brandon: The very title puts me to sleep
- Brandon: Now if they made a film called "Sisterhood of the traveling panties", I might stay awake
