RIP Tiggy Winkles: August 2001 - 4:35pm, October 1st, 2008

After nearly 72 hours of fighting, Tiggy Winkles (my bunny) passed away today. I was holding her in my arms moments before she died (feeding her via sringe), I was there when she had a heart attack and I was there when she stopped breathing.

The most traumatizing thing, I think, is that you could say I technically contributed to her death. She was supposed to come home with us today and the vet was teaching me how to forcefeed her via sringe. The day before today the vet called me to tell me that they were going to try to start forcefeeding her as she wasn’t eating anything and growing weaker, but he called to get my permission because of the probability that she could work herself up (due to stress) and have a heart attack - and she did just that, either in my arms or when I quickly gave her over to the vet.

I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this, and I gather it has much to do with the fact that: 1) I bawled my eyes out when I found her unmoving in her cage, pre-vet visit and surgery, thinking she was in her dying moments then, and 2) because we went from sitting cross-legged on the floor, feeding my bunny to the vet yelling “emergency!” and rushing her to another room, only to come back with her wrapped in a blanket.

This is sort of an inside remark between the people who know me closest, but its a fairly well-known fact among my inner circle that Wednesdays almost always suck for me. Today has been no exception.

Mommy loves you, Tigs.